Unforgettable Stella

            

We came to remember a beloved wife, mother, grandmother and friend, our Stella.  We gathered together on a rainy Sunday afternoon with the fog hanging so low that it obscured the treetops and enveloped the roadways in a soft gray blanket.  But within the warmth of our gathering there was light and, amidst the tears, joy.

            We watched the video of photographs and music lovingly assembled by her granddaughter.  For some who had known her only in recent years when her hair had grayed there was surprise when they saw the younger Stella with that abundant dark curly hair that was envied by many.  For those who knew her better back then, but had not seen her in recent years, there was recognition that she had changed as we all do with aging, but joy that her smile was as big and happy as ever.

            For all of us there were oohs and aahs over the baby pictures we had not seen and the high school beauty we had not known.  There were so many photos that included some of us, laughing together as we did so often.  There were the pictures of Stella dressed for costume parties, showing off her creativity and her sense of humor.  There were photos full of the love and pride she felt for her family.

            As those gathered remembered her, there were tears and laughter in almost equal measure.  We wept for our loss of this indomitable soul of fun, this tiny embodiment of love and life.  We laughed as we thought about our times together.  For someone who was small enough even as an adult to squeeze into a child-size chair, she created a big presence wherever she went.  Stories were told and her abundant spirit was very much alive in the room.

            The conversation flowed among those who had known her for more than forty years and those who knew her for just a short while.  "Do you remember when she...?"  "I will never forget the way she..."  "She made me feel so welcome, she made me laugh, she was so feisty and so sweet, she had a way, I knew we would be friends..."  These were the words of remembrance, the legacy of a woman who made a difference in the lives of all who knew her.

            And as we remembered, we drew closer to one another.  We embraced those we had known for years and reached out to those not met until love for her brought us together on that rainy day.  We ached to hug her and in lieu of that, we hugged each other.  We comforted one another as she would have comforted us.  Her spirit was not just with us, but it moved us to find solace in each other.           

 Our memories of Stella will be both poignant and powerful.  Already they flood in as something reminds me of her.  An old song brings back my friend, as will a silly joke, a glass of wine, a pair of earrings, an old shirt and a thousand other memory triggers.  The memories of our friendship are in my mind as sights and sounds and feelings like the squares of outgrown clothes my mother used to sew into the patterns of old-fashioned quilts.  And as the quilts warmed cold nights, these memories will fill the empty space Stella leaves in our lives.  She will be with me and part of me from now on and I will both yearn to have another hug or laugh and be grateful for all those we shared.

            Rest in peace, beloved unforgettable Stella.