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| Daffodils symbolize new beginnings |
So
I find myself reflecting on my own marriage of more than 31 years. It was somewhat
Because
she asked, I thought about what I would say.
The first thing that comes to mind is laughter. Mike and I make each other laugh every day. While we see the world differently in many
instances, our senses of humor drew us to one another at the beginning and we
continue to find mutual amusement again and again. From chuckles to chortles, silly giggles to
belly laughs that leave us gasping for breath, laughter is definitely a
hallmark for us.
The
other thing that makes our marriage happy is the simple joy of sharing. Ours is, in word and deed, a partnership. We became a family like the families we were
fortunate enough to be nurtured by. Our
parents partnered, working both at home and in their jobs to provide for the
family. They found ways to support each
other through "thick and thin," as the saying goes. They set examples that we have followed
. I am grateful to them every day for
the role models they were.
Sharing
includes voicing our thoughts honestly and as kindly as we can muster. Sure, we
have those moments and days when we are not happy with one another for some
reason. There are angry and
ill-conceived words occasionally. We
share a faith that we will work through the downtimes because we can't picture
life without each other. It's as if we
have always been family, so there is no question that we will be family as long
as we are alive. We grouse sometimes, tease
about leaving or even shooting one another, but we know that we are not serious. That, too, is a part of our shared humor,
playing the "Bickersons" from time to time.
However
familial we are, we remain thoughtful about showing gratitude. When he cooks, I thank him. When I do the laundry, he thanks me. It's a little habit, now ingrained, that I
didn't even consciously notice until a friend pointed it out, surprised that we
do that after all these years together.
It's a way of not taking anything for granted. It's pretty easy in a long relationship to
let one's partner feel unappreciated for doing the routine things. We've found it's just as easy to protect the
give and take of daily life by acknowledging it.
Not
least in those assets that keep us moving forward is the fortunate circle of
family and friends who support and encourage us. Their contributions range from being the
shoulders we lean on in times of trouble to the loving hands we hold in times
of joy and celebration. Like seeds that
fall in fertile ground, our lives are enriched by those we hold dear.
As
we've grown older, we've continued to learn how to be together, while each
maintains a comfortable independence. We
will be learning as long as we are together, as years bring new opportunities
and new challenges. As one of our
friends complained recently, these should not necessarily be called the
"Golden Years," but maybe better named the "Medical
Years." We will hope that love and
patience will counter any pain and frustration that comes.
When
love came it came because we wanted what we have had through these years -- a
partnership of equals and a family to nurture, love and protect for the rest of
our lives. The luck was in the timing
that found us in the same place at the same time. It turned out to be the right place and the
right time for us to start our family life together.
On
our 25th wedding anniversary, our son, Michael, and the amazing woman who is
now
We
fall short too often of living up to his words.
But we blush with pride in the man he has become. I smile with each memory that our family has
made together and look forward to those we've yet to make before an ending that
I hope is many, many years in the future.
And as I conclude, I must say thank you to our friend, Alice, for asking
the question that prompted me to remember and pay tribute to my good fortune.
